When entering into marriage, you’re entrusting someone with your entire life and emotional well-being. Love and mutual understanding form the foundation of this commitment. In the context of an arranged marriage, neglecting to inquire about and verify these five qualities can turn the entire endeavor into a risky gamble.
1. Honesty.
An often overlooked quality, honesty holds profound significance within a marriage. He should demonstrate honesty not only with you but also with himself, being aware of his limitations, weaknesses, as well as strengths.
2. Respectful.
How did he react when the waiter accidentally spilled water on the table? This simple scenario serves as an excellent litmus test, revealing his demeanor and the level of respect he embodies.
If he fails to show respect towards someone perceived as lesser than him, it may indicate a lack of respect not only for you but also for your parents and others in general.
3. Check Mental Health.
It’s crucial to assess his emotional stability. He should be emotionally present for you, but equally important is ensuring he isn’t grappling with depression, a serious issue that requires professional intervention.
You can’t assume the role of a psychiatrist. Additionally, it’s essential to verify that his parents aren’t concealing a significant condition like bipolar disorder. Conducting a thorough background check is imperative in this regard.
4. Discuss Kids Or No Kids.
This is a vital conversation that is frequently overlooked. Not everyone desires to have children. If having kids is a priority for you, it’s essential to clearly communicate that and understand his perspective as well.
Discuss topics such as when you both envision having children, how many you each have in mind, plans in case of infertility, and whether adoption is an option. Having this conversation before committing to a lifelong partnership is crucial.
5. Patience To Listen.
“Patience” and “listening” are two crucial elements to consider. Assess their patience level and observe how attentive they are as listeners. Pay close attention to their body language: do they grip their hands, fidget with their feet, maintain eye contact, or cross their arms? Body language communicates a great deal about a person. Their focus should be on you, and their body language should convey calmness and attentiveness.
6. Conversations.
To gauge his intelligence, engage in conversations spanning various topics and assess his curiosity to learn. Ensure he’s not confined to a narrow perspective. Explore his interest in travel, culinary abilities, political inclinations, and depth of opinions.
Discover his passions beyond financial pursuits. Identify common ground, shared hobbies, and mutual understanding regarding the need for compromise. Allow him to express himself freely without imposing your own thoughts.